The Witness
by AshlynnElizabeth
Summary: Mark has always been the rock, the witness, everything they had ever needed him to be, but now the last person to need him was drifting away, and there was nothing he could do. He knew it was selfish to hang on, but he had to try. What good can possibly c


Title: The Witness

Author: Ashley of course

Rating: T

Fandom: Rent

Disclaimer: The almighty Johnathon Larson owns all.

Summary: Mark has always been the rock, the witness, everything they had ever needed him to be, but now the last person to need him was drifting away, and there was nothing he could do. He knew it was selfish to hang on, but he had to try. What good can possibly come from loosing the last reason for you to live? Mark's POV.

Author's Notes: I was in a really dark place when I wrote this. I dont know why I keep writing death fics. It really isn't cool. I promise the next one shot I post is going to be fluff. Lots and lots of happy pointless sickening fluff! Angel/Collins of course, to make up for this shit.

Hospital Room, Mark's POV

After Angel died I wondered if I would eventually be the only one left, it hurt, but Collins needed me so I stayed strong for him. Though for weeks after I would see a light on in the loft and I could swear I was hearing Angel's voice again. He was the best thing to ever happen to Collins. One of the best things to ever happen to our little family. Angel taught us all how to love again, even me. Angel brought me out of my shell and showed me that there was more to life than regret.

When I met Elizabeth, she was twenty five. She died in a car accident when she was twenty six. I loved her so much, but I just remebered that everyone else loved her too and that I needed to be strong, or none of us would get through it, Collins knew how I felt. I just bit my tounge and beared the pain, going back to the job I loathed just to escape the reality of it all. I hid behind buzzlines camera.

When Maureen lost the fight against luekemia I finally cried, once. When Joanne called me to let me know but I held my head high and comforted her, because I knew that's what Mo would have wanted.

I think Joanne died of a broken heart, though she would never admit it, that she missed Maureen that much, she died so soon after Maureen though, she had just gotten careless. When the Jefferson's called the loft to let us know what had happened, Roger and Collins broke down and I just comforted them, and I held Mimi as she cried into my shoulder. my eyes wouldn't allow me to cry.

When Roger got sick a month later I fumed at him and raged because he had stopped taken his AZT. When he finally passed away, when he wasted away to nothing, like Angel had I hit the walls, I threw things, i vented my frustrations when no one was around, but still I held Mimi as she sobbed and I tried my best to comfort Collins.

I heard it from Collins mouth first, that Mimi was sick. I didn't believe him, I refused to see it. I clung to the hope that she would get better. I denied the fact that there was nothing I could do, she would be okay. She had to be okay. When Mimi died later that year, the same year we had lost Maureen, Joanne, and Roger, I wondered how many times my heart would break before I died too. Before the pain I felt inside finally became just too much to bear.

Sitting there in that stupid fucking hospital room watching my last friend drift away, I finally felt alone. I knew it was wrong to hold on to Collins and try and keep him from being reunited with the rest of our family, but I had to try. I couldn't be left alone. It would finally break me.

"Mark?"

"Yeah Collins?" I grabbed his hand and held it tightly, like that would keep him with me longer.

"I'm really dying aren't I?" I nodded, unable, finally, to form words through my tears.

"You don't have anyone left to be strong for Mark, but I don't want you to cry for me. I'll finally be happy. I'll be with Angel again soon." I nodded and held his hand a little tighter.

"Please don't go Collins, I don't know if I can do this without you here to keep me in one peice. I'm really going to be alone." Collins nodded, and I knew he was almost gone. It sucked, straight up sucked. I leaned my head on his chest. So many memories, so many hugs, so many rolls of film stacked in my room, that I would go home and sit for days and watch over and over and over and over again. Angel and Collins dancing on the train, fantisizing about santa fe. Mimi and Roger's first of many, many kisses. Viva La Vie Boheme, the rebellious song we had made up on the spot to screw Benny over. I sighed and rubbed my eyes with my free hand.

When I found out Roger and Collins had aids, it had only been the three of us, plus Maureen. I thought then that I would at least have Maureen when they left us. But then Maureen moved on, not that I blame her, and then Roger met Mimi, and Collins fell into love. Both of their lives had aids as well, so then it was going to be just the three of us, Maureen and Joanne and me. Then Angel died, and Mo was diagnosed with luekemia. Then it was just going to be me and Joanne. But then Joanne died and I knew someday I would _really _be alone. That's when I finally learned to block it all out, to really detach myself from feeling. I sucked, I hated feeling like this cold and uncaring person. But I was, and I did feel that way.

"I have to go Mark. I can't stay like this, I'm too sick." Collins closed his eyes and grabbed my hand.

"Does it hurt much?"

"Nope." I sighed and wiped my eyes on my scarf.

"Thats good, I guess." I sniffled again. My heart was breaking into little tiny pieces, every break was being torn open again, a new one was tearing for Thomas. I put a hand over his heart and rested my head against my pale skin. Collins and I had gotten close, it wasn't very akward for us to hug, and be thos close. We had helped each other through six deaths, the deaths of our closest loved ones. All we had left was each other.

I realized over the years, that I made a family for myself. It was difficult, but I mananged. Roger, Collins, and Maureen had been my family since highschool, and then, in two days, we added Angel, Mimi, and Joanne. One little happy family. Of course it was the day that I met Angel that I found out he had AIDS, of course it was hard. I was care ful not to get to close. I knew it would end badly. But no, I got close to Angel, he became the little brother I had never had. Then not even a year later we lost him.

I lifted my head up to see that Collins was crying.

"Col, what's wrong man?" Collins opened his eyes.

"It's just, Angel. When he was in the hospital, I lay like that everynight and slept, just so I could hear and feel his heartbeat and know that he was okay. It was tough after a while to do that because he got so weak. Every touch left bruises, so I had to be really careful with him." After every word Collins would wheeze, and once he finished he gave into a fierce coughing fit. I sighed and nodded.

"Am I hurting you?" Colins shook his head and weakly lifted his hand, laying it on my back. I sniffled, a pain was forming in my chest, making it hard to draw a breath. "I'm sorry, I'm going to miss you so much." I wanted to pull away, to give him a final hug, but instead I just wrapped my arm around him, realishing the feel of his hand mving, and knowing he was still alive.

"This isn't." Collins coughed, and I rubbed his chest gently. "Goodbye." I nodded, again unable to see through my tears.

"Until we meet again." Collins nodded weakly again and his hand fell from my back.

"Mark? Will you hold me?" I could tell he was scared so I climbed into the bed and pulled the upper half of his body onto my lap and chest, wrapping my arms around him.

"Are you comfortable?" He nodded again and clasped my arm. It all seemed so familiar. This was how Angel died, held in Collins arms. I wasn't ready to let go yet though! "Collins?"

"Mhm?" I sighed and held him a little closer. A nurse walked in, checking the machines that were attached to Collins.

"Mr. Cohen? Can I speak with you outside for a minute?" I sighed and kissed Collins cheek softly, not knowing weather or not I would be back in before he passed away.

"Love you Collins..." I whispered as I slid out from under him, supporting his weight, and gently laying him back done on the bed.

I followed the blonde nurse out the door, massaging my chest, trying totake slow, calming breaths.

"Mr. Cohen, I'm afraid Mr. Collins dosen't have long left, is there any family I need to contact, or?" I thought a moment and nodded.

"He dosen't have any family left beside me," I muttered, rubbing my chest. "But you can call the two numbers I gave the doctor earlier today, Benny Coffin, and the Jefferson's. They would like the chance to say goodbye." I sighd and looked at her.

"I know it seems like I'm prying, but can I ask you something Mr. Cohen?" I smiled sadly.

"Call me Mark, go ahead."

"Are you and Mr. Collins, lovers?" I shook my head.

"No, we've lost so many people in the past three years. Three of them to HIV, two of them to car accidents, and one to Luekemia. Tom is all I have left." The nurse bowed her head and then looked at me. I froze, something in her eyes had changed. She looked just like my Elizabeth when she looked at me like that. "I uhm. I should be getting back to Tom now." She nodded and me and scribbled something down on a pad of paper. I looked in her eyes as she handed it back to me, and I froze again, in the act of reaching fro the paper. I saw a glint of lust in her eyes that reminded me so much of Mimi and Maureen, it almost doubled me over.

"Mark?" The nurse, whose name tag said her name was Julianne, grabbed my hand.

"I'm fine it's just, when you look at me like that... I swear to god I see them in your eyes." I knew how it sounded coming out of my mouth.

"We'll talk later alright? I have other patients to check on, and I'm guessing your friend has maybe minutes left." I nodded and thanked her, turning around.

I slid back into bed, and pulled Collins up to my chest again. He was shivering. "Until we meet again my friend. I'll hang on, I'll be strong for you, I promise."

"Uhn. Mark, it hurts." I winced and pulled him a little closer, trying to will the pain away for him.

"Just close your eyes, and think of Angel man. Just think of her, and you'll be with her soon enough. Don't stay for my sake, I'll be fine. I'll miss you though, you can let go now."

I heard a machine beep and I kissed his cheek again, crying. His heart monitor flatlined, and I threw my head back against the wall sobing. An intercom went off above my head.

_"Attention: We have a code red, room 2282, please respond immeadeatly." _I rubbed my nose into Collins corse black hair. I kept thinking over and over that it was too late, it didn't matter anymore, he was with the ones we loved, when gentle hands pulled his body from me and pulled me onto the couch, and thin arms caressed my shaking body. After fifteen consecutive minutes of this, soft lips carressed my ear.

"Mark, they need to clean out the room. Can we move to the lounge. I'll help you." I nodded and Julianne helped me off the couch and together we walked to the lounge.

Julianne had lost her loved ones too. Her first and only boyfriend, and two of her best friends, all to to HIV. She stood by me during the funeral and held me up through the duration.

I lay down on the bed, rembering that night eight years ago, when I lost my last friend, and gained the rest of my life. Julianne reminded me so much of the family I had lost.

I smiled as my wife wandered into the room, our seven year old twin daughters, Joanne and Angel, tagging behind her. I smiled as they jumped on the bed. Angel grinned at me and curled up under my arm. Joanne curled around her sister and smiled. our five year old twin boys, Collin and Roger climbed on the bed as well. We had not had alot of luck with pregnancies. Our only single and four-year-old, son Micheal, named after Julianne's lost love, climbed on the bed and sat on my chest. Julianne smiled and pulled Maureen, Mimi, and April out of their play pen. The almost two year old triplets toddled over to the bed and cried for their oldest sisters to pick them up. I was happy that I had invested in a kingsized bed when Juli and I got married. Two small cries came from the bassinet on my side of the bed. I pulled out from under the pile of kids and leaned over, picking up one of the two week old infants. Juli smild and grabbed the other one. the were so tiny, and all of the kids crowded around me to look at their youngest sister. Roger and Collin bounced over to their mother to see their youngest brother, Thomas. Eve gurled in my arms and waved a hand around in the air Angel squealed and pulled the baby from my arms, Joanne and her both fussing over her.

I was far from alone. With ten children, and a wife. A new family that I couldn't possibly love anymore, and several friends. I still talk to Benny, and the Jeffersons. They come over to see the kids alot, the kids all call them Grandma and Grandpa. I still miss them, all the time. I know that I'll see them someday, and that they're watching over me.

But I can deffinately wait to see them again.

I remembered all the good times with the boho's as I drifted off to sleep later that night, having finished our customary friday night movie session, in our bedroom of course. Joanne, Angel, Collin, Roger, and Michel lay out on sleeping bags on the floor. Eve and Thomas lay in their bassinet, and the triplets, Maureen, Mimi and April, lay in the bed with us. I smiled, and touhed Julianne's head. I climbed out of bed, manuvering around the sleeping kids. I stepped out of the room, and shut the sliding door behind me. I looked around the loft. Alot had changed here since they died. I had painted the walls, a nice cream white. Replaced the sliding door, the only one I couldn't bear to replace was the door to what had been Roger's room currently mine. I had also upgraded the place alot. Pictures hung everywhere, and my films were all stacked in neat shelves on the entertainment center. I picked up the first documentary I had ever finished. No Day But Today, I flipped it over. it had sold over a million copies nation wide, as well as all my other documentaries. I had made quite a bit of money and advanced quite well for my self. I had enough money to support my family so we were more than comfortable and still able give back to the charities, that had helped me get here.

I sighed and fliped it back to the front. The dvd case, as it was, now had a picture of Angel ont he cover. That same picture sits in the living room, over the fire place I had installed. The same picture, in fact, that showed at the very closing of the movie. Angel, out of drag, holding a hand up in the air, her shiney blue nail polish glinting, a small smile on her face. I smiled and walke dover to the mantle peice. Nine pictures in neat, gilded, gold frames. Individual pictures, one for each person we lost. I looked at Eliabeth's picture, then I took one that was hanging off the wall. It was a picture of all of us. The orignal bohemians.

"Well, guys, it looks like I've made it. I've made it through everything, and come out the other end. I miss you all, but put in a good wrod for me with the man upsairs, I wanne make it to see Eve's wedding day." I smiled, my antique camera was perched on the opposite end of the mantle. I touched it softly. "Jul's got her tubes tied. We kept having accidents... and well... I know! I never knew I had it in me either! I love those kids so much. I know there is alot of them, but you can meet them someday." I smiled, I could hear Juli getting up and moving around the kids. "Love you guys."

I smiled at Julianne as she walked into the living room and placed her hand on my stomach. "We did it Marky."

"Yeah we did." I smiled at the picture again and touched Collins' face softly. I sighed, his arms were wrapped firmly around Angel's waist, like he was never, ever going to let go of her. I clenched my arms around Julianne's waist and smiled. I studied the faces in the picture again while Julianne looked at the faces of her loved ones.

They sent my Julianne. I knew it, our loved ones had helped us find each other.

Because I was Mark Cohen, father of ten, husband to Julianne Cohen, best friend of Benjamen Coffin (the third!) and I was The Witness.


End file.
